Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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