well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
