I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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