I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
