I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
