I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
