pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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