there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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