i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
