I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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