Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
