Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
