New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
