Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize