Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
