Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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