You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
