tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
