i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
