I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You pole danced in your parka.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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