I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
