cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize