you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have tasted many bathrooms
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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