it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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