I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
