I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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