He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
