i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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