Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people

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(512): View more from Texas

He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy

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(518): View more from New York

my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot

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(914): View more from New York

Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.

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(631): View more from New York

Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying

(1-631): View more from New York

Oh good your over him

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(434): View more from Virginia

You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater

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(954): View more from Florida

tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something

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