There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
