so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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