It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
