So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
These tits shall not be calmed
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
