her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
sex in a hospital.. check
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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