the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
