I think I died a long time ago.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
A+ Viking dick
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
