playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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