Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
