I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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