i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
