Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
