i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
