Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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