You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
