I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize