You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Who did Billy Mays play for?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
