I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
