he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
