If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
