a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
