I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
