he puts the penis in happiness.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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