Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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