I accidentally had phone sex last night
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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