im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
