let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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