ADVERTISEMENT

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.

  Fav 14 1693 6154

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...

  Fav 19 1078 10110

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (513): View more from Ohio

  why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position

  Fav 34 15913 1561

  share tweet
  

• (708): View more from Illinois

  either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame

  Fav 9 5292 1190

  share tweet
  

• (+35): View more from

  Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?

  Fav 12 1137 4248

  share tweet
  

• (802): View more from Vermont

  Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.

  Fav 18 4966 1648

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?

  Fav 5 3491 1383

  share tweet
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"

  Fav 8 3016 1185

  share tweet
  

• (731): View more from Tennessee

  I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.

  Fav 5 1291 1897

  share tweet
  

• (239): View more from Florida

  I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!

  Fav 4 801 3058

  share tweet
  

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid

  Fav 2 822 956

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off

  Fav 0 713 381

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree

  Fav 0 300 200

  share tweet
  

• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea

  Fav 0 166 184

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (620): View more from Kansas

  Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz

  Fav 0 41 4

  share tweet
  

Randomize