Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
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