how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize