i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
